The List. You know the List.

I was out with my wife this weekend and we watched a movie called “Just Go With It.”  staring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston.  I remember mentioning to my wife sometime during the movie that Jennifer Aniston used to be on my list.

You know the one —

Chandler: Well, we have a deal where we each get to pick five different celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can’t get mad.
Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship: Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
Monica: So, Chandler… who’s on your list?
Chandler: Uh, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and, ah, Jessica Rabbit.
Rachel: Now, you do realize that she’s a cartoon… and way out of your league?

The list.  The list of people who I can kiss (not sleep with that is bad) with out my wife being mad.  It looks like this episode aired 10-17-96 and I remember me and my friends putting together our lists right after that.  So needless to say the list has been revised a time or two.

So after I mentioned to my wife that she used to be on my list I tried to remember who actually was on my list.  So I decided to write this blog dedicated to my list.  To put my list of celebrities officially out there.

1) Salma Hayek – Salma has always been the number one person on this list.  If you have ever seen Desperado (the movie where Salma originally stole my heart) you know why I am talking about.  She is beautiful with a latino flare.  For those of you who don’t know Salma she was the wife of Adam Sandler in ‘Grown Up’s’.  You still got it Salma.

2) Kate Beckinsale – Kate jumped up on my radar back in 2003 when she stared in ‘Underworld’.  Sure she was in some girly movies before that (Serendipity and Pearl Harbor) before that but girly movies don’t get you on my list.  More recently she was the wife of Adam Sandler in the movie ‘Click’.

(Sensing a theme here?  See how I thought about my list.  Apparently Adam Sandler and I (or Adam’s casting director) have the same taste in women.)

3) Pauley Perrette – Pauley also jumped on my radar in 2003 (what a good year) as Abby Sciuto in NCIS.  The goth forensic scientist.  Beautiful, fun, and a little bit scary.  It also helps that this is one of my wifes favorite shows.  Although she does shake her head at me when I wave to Pauley during the opening credits.

4) Jessica Alba – Came onto the scene back in 2000 when she played Max in ‘Dark Angel’.  Who doesn’t love a girl that can kick a little butt?  I know I do.  I was pretty sad the day Dark Angel was cancelled but luckily for me (and the rest of the world) Jessica has had plenty of success.  She was even Invisible Woman in Fantastic 4.  Although why anyone would ever want Jessica to be invisible is beyond me.

5) Kristen Bell – came onto the scene in 2004 playing the cute Veronica Mars in ‘Veronica Mars’.  Kristen is the most recent addition to my list, the only blond, and also the youngest.

So there you go that is my list.  Am I expecting to kiss any of these beautiful ladies?  No.  There is no reason for them to want to kiss this balding, overweight, happily married man.  But is it fun to say they are on my list?  Yes.  When a movie comes on staring one of them I can say ‘Hey she is on my list.’

Don’t think I am a horrible husband.  My wife has a list of her own.  She the guys on her list aren’t as cool as I am but she does have one and points out to me when one of her list is on the screen.


About ryanjamesburt

I am a father, husband, accountant, and want to be writer. I try to stay busy so why not keep a blog. I can talk about what is on my mind and maybe entertain some people in the process.
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3 Responses to The List. You know the List.

  1. Oh! 1, 2, 4, CHECK! The others, eh, I can take them or leave them.

    Thanks for the insight into your mind, not-horrible-husband 😀


  2. clraven says:

    Love it! When you said The List we IMMEDIATELY thought of that episode of Friends, especially when Ross tried to explain to a celebrity she used to be on his list but he bumped her off and now his list was laminated. We love Pauly Perette too! Now we’re gonna have to wave to her in the opening credits to oust you out of her favour. We’re gonna have trouble narrowing our list down to 5. Johnny & Wentworth are obviously on there. Though we get 10, seeing as we’re twins. And THEY won’t know which one they kissed…


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