I have to say my wife and I get along very well. We hardly ever fight (sure one of us may get snippity at times never a real fight) and I have to say that is a blessing. Since I am with her most of the time I am not working the not fighting is very nice. In fact I love spending
time with her.
Part of the reason we get along so well is that we think alike. Okay so she doesn’t think about fantasy football and steak all day long but we think about a lot of things the
same. Except in one area.
What area is that? Giving and receiving help. We actually think quite differently
here. No not that she wants to help and I don’t want to help. It is more she asks for help where I don’t. Not that I don’t want help I just expect someone to see me struggling and offer to help.
Imagine this. Father is carrying his two-year old daughter in one hand and trying to put something in the dishwasher with the other. I know what you are thinking “What an awesome husband.” Now imagine the backpack that the father has over one shoulder shifts. Now that you have the picture use the way my wife and I help.
I am struggling with all three things and look over at my wife who has a smile. I am thinking “Why is she smiling at me vs not helping me.” Where she is thinking “Why doesn’t that fool ask for some help. Guess he is so macho he has it under control.”
Should I ask for help? Should she see the need for help and offer it? The answer to both
these questions is probably yes.
Have you ever read the book call something like “The Five Love Languages”. It talks about how people process love through different ways and if you really want to show a person you love them it needs to be done through their love language not yours.
For me to get help do I need to talk to my wife in her help language? That I am pretty sure is a yes. The one interesting thing to see in the future is which direction will my daughter fall.
More then likely the same direction as my wife. Why? Because I imagine I look
pretty funny struggling with three things at the same time. Hard to pass up cheap entertainment.